The age of 'why' in children

The age of 'why' in children

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How nice when children say their first words! True? And once they begin to speak, they go through multiple phases: the phase of speaking and not stopping, the age of no, or the age of why in children ...

There is a time when our little ones seem to question even the meaning of life ... "Let's go to the bathtub .... and why? Because you have to bathe to be clean and handsome, and why? Because if we don't smell bad ... and why? " And so we could spend hours in an endless loop in which the child would not stop asking and why? and because? We run out of answers, imagination does not give more of itself, and patience runs out. And, we also ask ourselves ... Why ????

Children go through different stages in their development and this is one of them. It occurs between 2 and 4 years, age in which the child on the one hand begins to dominate the language and on the other hand it is a stage of great advances in the development of the child's thinking, they need to know, order their world, expand knowledge and want to know the reasons why the world around them is like this.

"Why doesn't the sun come out at night? Why are peas round?" Children at this age begin to reflect on the world that surrounds them, they are more aware of the outside, of the differences between people, objects, and they need to know, they need to cover knowledge and gain security also in the environment that surrounds them.

It is important that parents give answers to these questions of the child, with patience, in a language accessible to the child and without giving great explanations. That is, if the child asks me why it rains, I am not going to explain the water cycle or the concept of condensation. I can tell you that clouds are made of water, and when they have a lot of water and they can't take it anymore they have to release it and then it rains.

What if we don't know the answer? If we don't know what to answer, we can say "Well darling, I don't know this" which is also a good answer. And if they ask me why don't you know? We will tell them that Mom and Dad don't know everything, but that we can find the answer together.

What if you keep insisting on the same question over and over? We have to make sure on the one hand that the child understands the answer, and on the other, that we know what the child really wants to ask. Sometimes they ask us something and then they ask us again: "But why?" If the child wants to know more, we have to try to find an answer that he can understand, but clearly.

There may be situations in which the child asks questions at inappropriate times and leads to uncomfortable situations. For example we are talking to a person, and the children ask us "Why is this person so ....?" or "Why do you have ...?" Moment in which the child brings out the colors and I think ... "Earth swallow me." More than scolding the child, later and alone, we must teach him what to ask or what not in the presence of these people, and give him guidelines so that, if he is curious, he will ask me but when we are alone.

What if you ask me about embarrassing topics? Children can ask me everything from why the sky is blue, to why Grandpa died, or why I have a baby in my gut. It is important that there are no prohibited topics and not tell them "you are not old enough for this" or "you will know when you are older" because in this way we do not favor or facilitate communication with our children. It may also be something that really causes the child anguish and if I tell him that he does not ask, I leave him with even more uncertainty.

And if I tell the child to pick up his room and he asks me why? The only thing here is to tell him that the room has to be put in order because things have to be in order, and it is also a rule at home that what gets disordered is then put in order. Here we will have to be more blunt and clarify the limit to do what we have asked.

What we should always avoid is telling the child not to be "pesadito" or "that is not asked" or "this you will not understand." It is true that children can get very boring, sometimes asking things that we think they cannot understand, or that even we are not able to answer, but we have to try to give an answer or tell them, (if it is very heavy), that we'll give you more answers tomorrow.

If I tell him not to be annoying, or it is worth asking or this is not asked, in a way I can inhibit the child or I do not give rise to an educational style that favors communication in my children.

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