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From childhood to adolescence: say goodbye to the child and welcome the young

From childhood to adolescence: say goodbye to the child and welcome the young



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It does not happen to all children, but some go through a period of behaviors that are strange to us when they enter adolescence. It seems that it was not our son with whom until recently we played, sang and laughed.

If the situation is persistent and you start to worry, it is good to consult a professional; but it is also good to know that it is a profound change through which children must put aside much of what was known to them and that is why it is normal that for some months we see them differently while inside they are processing an avalanche of instabilities. It is the change from childhood to adolescence, a mourning and an awakening.

What are some of those changes that the child undergoes on the way to adolescence?

- The body

- The voice

- The likes and interests

- The known spaces and where they felt safe like the school and the teacher

It is said that someone who is grieving, withdraws his interest (love) towards the things that surround him: people, objects and everything else. The person is busy trying to alleviate the pain that the loss generates. When making the effort to say goodbye to the previous things, it is difficult for you to appreciate the new that is coming into your life. Y adolescence is the mourning to stop being a child.

Of course this is an unconscious process that is currently very well described from psychology. But when we are not aware of it, we can consider that the boy or the girl is simply apathetic, lazy or disinterested.

Others, on the contrary, manifest this internal struggle with a rebellious and defiant attitude, but it is just another way of processing the passage from one to the other.

In both cases the parents must arm yourself with patience and avoid being insistent, since that usually only reinforces negative behaviors. It is better to assume that it will be a period and that the more patient we are, the faster it will pass. We must show him unconditional love and support because the boy needs it the same or more than before, although now he is not able to show it or request it.

Some recommendations are:

- Ask if something worries you to know what interests us, but Don't insist when you don't feel like talking.

- Do not be desperate in the face of the situation, parents are still the ones who must inspire confidence and serenity.

- Offer the boy the possibility of visiting a psychologist to help him process what is happening to him.

- And of course: arm yourself with patience.

Dr. Donald Winnicott put it better than anyone: "Adolescence only heals with the passage of time." We must avoid being coercive and getting anxious, since much of how we face this stage will depend on the bond we will have with the young person who emerges from this awakening.

You can read more articles similar to From childhood to adolescence: saying goodbye to the child and welcoming the young, in the category of Teen Stages on site.


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